बॉम्बे मेरी जान - my message to bombay

मेरी बॉम्बे - मुझे तेरी बहुत याद आ रही है। ८ या १० साल हो गए है लेकिन अभ भी मुझे तुम्हारी ज़मीन, तुम्हारी धरती और तुम्हारी अम्बर मेरे मन में है। यह लोग जो तुम्हारे सपने को तोरने चाहते थे, वोह सिर्फ़ हमारे दिल को ज़्यादा प्यार दे पाए - बॉम्बे को कोई तोर नही सकता। हर रोज़ तुम्हारी याद आती है। वोह समुन्दर, वोह रस्ते और वोह लोग - शेहर है लोगो का - हिंदू, मुस्लमान , पारसी , सिख, जेव या बुद्धिस्ट। हम जहाँ बैत्खे चैन से दिन गुजारें , संगीत माने न धर्म न जात। संगीत की कोई ज़बान नहीं, इस लिए मेरा बस एक सपना है - मेरे संगीत tउम्हरे टूटे दिल को जोड़े , और एक दिन, मई तुम्हारे शेहर में फिर से गीत मई गाऊँ।

Bombay, my love. I think of you so much. 8 or 10 years have passed and yet even after all these years, I remember your earth, your soil, your sky - they are all embedded in my mind. The people who endeavoured to destroy your spirit, your dreams, they only succeeded in filling our hearts with even more love. Nobody can break Bombay - everyday I think of you, Bombay. The sea, the roads, and the people. It is a city of people - all castes, all nationalities, all religions - hindu, muslim, jewish, persian, sikh and buddhist. We will spend our days in peace - music has no religion, no caste; music has no language. This is why I have one wish - that my music can heal your broken heart, and that one day I can once again sing my song, in your arms.

-KF

Why Glenn Gould hated competition: Of Music Exams, stage mothers, our society and fame.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life...

Berthold Auerbach summed it up pretty well with that sentence, and none other than Ludwig van Beethoven echoed a similar sentiment when he said that Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. When Glenn Gould was asked about his attitude to competition and his dislike of bravura concertos for instrumental soloist and orchestra, he had this to say (of course, Gould being Gould put these words into the mouth of a fictitious psychiatric patient on the couch!):

Doctor, I have this incredible fixation. I want desperately to be up on stage, at a piano, in front of an orchestra, subduing that orchestra with my playing, having them copy my phrases, embroidering the phrases more delicately than they can, and in the end to be applauded for my efforts while my colleagues in the orchestra sit there subdued"

And yet, somewhere between Auerbach, Beethoven and much later Glenn Gould, between spirituality, sensuality and the dust of everyday life, more and more people are forgetting why it is they engage in music, send their child to music lessons, spend half an hour practising a particular bar, listen to a record, go to a rock concert. Because at some basic level, there is a fulfillment from simply being a part of this art form, creating it, performing it, mastering it, enjoying it. I encounter a wide variety of people in this profession, from hard working teenage students, nervous young exam candidates, "famous" classical musicians, enthusiastic performers, composers, and then you have the stage mothers who haven't got a clue. Maybe they all have the same psychiatric disorder that Gould jokes about!!

Since my own musical background was so unconventional, it took me many years to understand (and I still nearly don't) why anyone would care, or want to care about the so called "ugly" side to music: fame, notoriety, obsession with being loved, music exams being regarded as the be all and end all, the whole "image" thing being done to death, PR, corruption, the list is endless. Since I didn't have the crazy stage parents nudging me to "practice all hours, so I can be a world famous concert pianist or opera singer", neither did I have terribly demanding teachers when I was young (they simply wanted me to develop a love for music, and reach a reasonably high standard), I never could understand how different the mentality could be, until I experienced it in the West (i.e. outside India). While I performed in numerous concerts in India, where Western Art Music is not even widely taught, they were all concerts that instilled in me an understanding of music as something spiritually enriching, and positive. There were no classical music critics full of their own self importance, no crazy "feis ceoil" style competitionswhere everyone learns all the "big" repertoire and you battle it out for some prize that doesn't make a bit of difference on a larger scale. I always remember loving every concert opportunity and music festival (even ones with a competitive edge), because I felt that they were so much fun, there would always be so many people there, and no matter how you did, the fact that you could share your music with such a large audience of people, and communicate with them, was enough of a boost. I honestly never remembered what prizes I won, or who won a certain category, I just got a kick out of being there! I always presumed that every city, every country in the world, especially those with a tradition for western art music (or classical music as we know it), would have the same opportunities for students, and the same positive impact.

As I experienced living in other countries, especially America and later UK/Ireland, I realized that while the tradition for performing music for ones own sake, for the enrichment of the "soul" so to speak, and to communicate it with others was prevalent in a few places, there was no large scale way for kids, adults, anyone who plays music at any level, to perform or share it with an audience. (An exception, in Ireland, would be the Swords Musician of the Future Competition...more on this in a seperate post). As a result, the bright kids are pushed towards believing that they have what it takes to make it on the classical concert stage, by parents, teachers and anyone who has a say. They go down the conservatory route and either survive it, and manage to hit the bigtime, or, in most cases, burn out and give up music altogether (a startling number of performance graduates often give up anything to do with music after they graduate from conservatories). The few may pursue careers as teachers or accompanists, but the bitterness that comes from "giving up" a career in music performance, and unwillingness to play music for the sheer fun of it, for the love of it, and for the benefit of society as a whole means that quite a few music students also end up depressed and unable to integrate into society as a whole.
And then there's the music exam obsession. While I have been examining for the Royal Irish Academy of Music exam board, I remember always wanting to be involved in this for two reasons. 1) If a country is going to have an exam system for music exams, then I wanted to be in a position to make the children and adults appearing for music exams as relaxed as possible. Its a strange enough concept, trying to quantify "music" but since its established and since so many people use it, I felt I might as well be in a position that puts a positive spin on the whole "exam" experience. 2) I wanted to see what the general population, music teachers around the country, parents, students all regarded as all round musical education. Since the majority are not conservatoire trained candidates, and since many different students appear for music exams each year, I felt it would be extremely beneficial for me, as an educator and musician, to see how most people, and most children react to "music education" and "instrumental tuition" as a whole.

However, while there are many enthusiastic parents, and a few apprehensive faces, I often come across the scariest type: the dreaded "stage" parents. You can notice them a mile away, they are often in the waiting room, instructing the child to "do this" and "say that, to the examiner" and the children are often tapping scales on their laps, and studying the scores to their exam pieces. Some stage parents also instruct the children to erase all pencil markings in their scores, and I've often come into a waiting room with two or three children scrubbing away at their music furiously, to make it look nearly as good as new! As a teacher and educator, I come across stage parents even outside the examination context. Parents of students, parents of students who are playing in a masterclass or workshop, there's often no real escape, in today's "fame" obsessed society.

Tragically, I have also been witness to some extremely talented young students, who have been driven to give up music completely because of pushy parents, unrealistic expectations and the parents desire to live out their own unfulfilled creative and artistic pursuits through their children. I feel like shaking up some of these parents, and asking them to look around them, in the world of music. Look at the classical "big" names out there. How many can they name off the top of their heads? How many can their children name? Do they realize that for the majority of young people, having a balanced social life, a good education, some creative and sporting pursuits and an identity of their own is far more important than pushing them towards careers as concert pianists, opera singers or whatever it is that the child is pursuing. I have come across some incredibly talented young performers (for instance, a 9 year old who performed nearly note perfect, Bach's 5th French Suite). Most of these are also "encouraged" to play as many instruments as they can (the 9 year old in question also played the cello, clarinet, took voice lessons and was a prize winning ballet student). However, I recall asking her a few simple questions and she simply smiled with a sort of blank expression on her face. This is often (though not always) the case - due to lack of social interraction with "normal" children their own age, and due to the fact that stage parents often push their children so hard that every spare minute is spent either practising or at auditions, competitions etc. Unfortunately, the majority of these children also lack a core ability to "make music". They can play any notes thrown at them, they can memorize vast quantities of music, but the ability to "touch" the listener, to awaken responses and feelings, and make the music "speak" is something they cannot understand or achieve. I often encourage nearly all parents I encounter, to let their child figure out for themselves, what it is that they want to achieve through music learning. Is it simply being able to "jam" on a few pieces with friends, is it being able to play a particular piece of music incredibly well, is it about getting a "grade 8", is it so that they can be accepted for study into a particular conservatory, or play a concerto with a major orchestra, or win a major competition. Whatever it may be, parents need to ensure that this is what the child wants. The argument that most parents would make is that "children are too young and naive to know what they want, they need a push in the right direction, and they need adults to help them realize their full potential". Sure!! But what if their full potential is a career as a Jazz singer, and the parents are insistant on pushing the child towards a career in opera. What if the full potential is performing on the West End, or teaching in a secondary school, or working with special needs children. How can I stress the importance of letting a child find the right musical path themselves, not through some bizarre projection on the part of teachers and parents. And again, the obsession of "achieving a Grade 8", gaining acceptance into a particular "Music College" or winning a competition all become preoccupations, and eventually this leads to the child in question either giving up music altogether, or becoming one miserable adult.

I always tell my own students, and anyone I encounter...the reason we choose to be involved in music, whether through performance, teaching, listening, going to concerts is because irrespective of what sort of day you have had, how difficult your job is, how bad things are in your personal life, you sit down at the piano and play, or put on a record, and suddenly you get a solace, and a peace that is difficult to explain or quantify. THAT is reason alone for being involved in music. For those of us who choose to make a living from it, the moment it becomes a "job" and not something we derive a spiritual comfort in, thats when its time to call it a day. It seems hypocritical for someone like me, with a "website, and a "blog" and a "myspace" page, to talk about spirituality and the rest of it, but I feel that through all of this, if I can communicate musically to more people, teenagers, children, adults, everyone, and expose them to some music (old and new) that triggers off some feeling, some reaction in their minds and spirits, then I've fulfilled my purpose on this planet. And if the process is fun and rewarding, then all the better for it!

That was one long rambling blog post. I do hope some parents, and some students read it, and understand some of the things I've tried to put down in words.

And another quote to finish off the blog post..."After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. " - Aldous Huxley.